“Replace fear of the unknown, with curiosity.” – Dany Gokey
As per usual, it is unbelievable how much has occurred in the space between one post to another. I must also confess that with these post I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing or even saying really however, I am enjoying it so far.
Keep busy. That’s a mantra that I have drilled into my memory since I was just a kid. Hobbies, academics, friends, boys, anything really. I enjoy it, I get bored otherwise. My brain runs 100miles an hour twenty-four seven and I need those hours, minutes and seconds filled. It’s tiring but, it is now so engrained into my nature that I cannot shake it. Naturally busyness does not help my anxiety and I have to discover new ways to help combat it.
Notice that word, combat. Search ‘thesarus combat’ right now in google. Go on. You’ll end up with a search filled with words such as battle, conflict and dispute. All of these carry negative connotations, at the moment I’m trying to not use these connotations by manovering my mind differently.
Instead of fighting I’m accepting. Letting the feelings wash over me – even if they are the worst bloody feelings one could receive! I think it’s time I expect that I will get these emotions (as will everyone else) and that when they come I practise just experiencing them. But, not getting caught up in them. Start with defusion; realise that the thoughts are there and distance yourself from the extremely unhealthy and unhelpful. Then acceptance; accept the feelings, thoughts and emotions that you are experiencing – let them wash over you – keep the defusion from dangerous thoughts but accept the mood and emotions. And lastly, be present in the moment you are in – accept that yes you are currently not in the greatest mindframe but right now, you need to focus and be in the moment. Whether that’s closing your eyes and feeling every drop of water from a shower, laughing in your favourite tv show or listening to a friend talk.
Your life is not in your mind alone. It is with the world around so intersect and just be present.