Let’s be real, life doesn’t just get difficult sometimes. It’s difficult, complex and uncontrollable all the time. Therefore, as people we are constantly going through a state of change, healing and renewal. I’m not sure if I’ve said this before but this blog is an outlet for me and it’s helping me heal and sort through my scattered mind. And so, to three people who each stole a part of me and replaced it with themselves – I first thank you for making me who I am today and for all those times, the good and the bad.
First: The sharp, fresh scent of lemon. It was you who first gave me butterflies, kissed me under the glow of the movie screen and made me giggle. Everything was bright with the excitement of a young relationship. Late night calls over Skype, sharing secrets and watching movies. You helped me create the foundation of friendship for my future relationships. You taught me how to stick by someone when they need it most. Like staying on the line all night to ensure you’re still there. I also learnt to take care of myself, to know when to say I am not enough, you need others.
Second: What we had was wonderful. Yet, something wasn’t right. I was caught in a swell, riding the waves up until they crashed back down. Neither you nor I could contain them, I would crash and bash right into you. You tried to move and block me out, I pulled you in and tried to shout. Just accept what’s happening and let the feeling be, it really isn’t about you or even really me. I didn’t like who I was and I knew I had to change. With that came you and I to reach another stage. I cried at the thought of losing you for you were my best friend. But now that it’s all happened, I’m grateful of the end. You taught me how to love, and accept people for who they are and I will be forever thankful.
Third: You inspire me to be a present person. To focus on what’s right in front of me, not the future nor the past. And so, with this healing unfinished I accept the experience while it lasts.
Honestly, this year has been incredibly full on since the very beginning and so much has already happened in just four months that I’m already proud of what I’ve accomplished both mentally and physically in the world. Cheers for reading x