Praying to who?

Originally began as a transitioned post then I felt like writing something with a little bit more substance. Enjoy the first little ramble about me and then if you like continue to the next more discussion based writing.

Technically still not an adult, I now live out of home and have quite an adultish job that I somehow managed to land myself. So what’s the next step, the next transition? I’ve found my foundational footing for the adult world and now have pretty much taken the leap.

I am young and my mind is full of wondrous ideas and dreams. To write a book, a play, a blog – to start my own business, cafe and company as well as, to go to university and learn. I still have no clue how I am going to fit it all in.

I like the idea of praying – not necessarily praying to anything or anyone in particular – but simply praying. I find it to be a wonderfully humble gesture. I’ve found that I’ve always prayed, even before I had any inkling of an idea of a God or Gods etc. There is just that subconscious desire for when something is needed, wanted or sought for to close my eyes and wish, reflect or pray about it. 

I did not grow up in an exclusively religious home. My parents liked the idea of religion and so were not opposed to me being in Religious Education. I started my schooling in a state school that offered some form of Christian/Catholic education through funky magazines that old people brought in. Let’s just say I really had no clue what was going on and did not pay too much attention. Later on, I went into the private sector of schooling and was thrown into the depths of Christian schooling. Everyone around me knew who David and Goliath was and what they did (and so on so forth) and I felt a little left out. One thing that I did recognise however was prayer. I mean, it wasn’t the sort of prayer I was used to. They were talking to a specific person that they didn’t necessarily know was there but for once I kind of got where they were coming from. 

Naturally going through religious schooling the question of whether I was a believer always seemed to arise. I felt judged whatever my answer was so I didn’t see the point of saying yes or no instead, I simply said I’m not sure. This seemed to please people the most. For, I wasn’t contradicting their beliefs which was what got most people. Eventually it got to the point where I was asking myself am I a believer? I mean, I do pray. So, to whom am I praying?

I suppose I like the idea that I am praying to my ancestors, family and friends. I find that a very comforting thought. That when I am praying one of them is watching over me, even if it is just having someone there to listen. 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: